Does hell exist? Can you spend untold eons in purgatory? Your parish priest would like to assure you that you can, and if you listen to him you’ll be going to hell in a handcart for enjoying the pleasures of a handjob. Yes, the Catholic Church got its ducks in a row and its feathers in a spin long ago about the carnal pleasures to be had from fisting off a sly one.

Now as a good Christian you want to abide by the bible, but at the same time, you want to be able to bash the bishop to whenever the mood takes, so to speak.

Well, to save your soul, we at the Autoblast Blast factory have taken it upon ourselves to read the good book from cover to cover, and we can happily confirm that nowhere in the bible does it say anything about not using an Autoblow Blast.

In case you’ve been locked away in a monastery all these years, the Autoblow Blast is the world’s first and best hands free blowjob machine. The sleeve is made from easy to clean silicone and is built to a quality and standard that should assure that you can practice peacefully for years to come.

Try as we did to find it, we couldn’t divine a single verse or proverb that makes mention of it. There’s a lot of talk about not coveting your neighbor’s ass, but getting a fully automatic blowjob – not a mention.

So this is our take on the bible. You can use the Autoblow Blast to your heart’s content – because let’s not forget, he who is without sin should cast the first stone, and as long as you don’t covet your neighbor’s ass well, there’s any number of great asses out there for you to covet as the beads work you up and down at a pace you can control with just the flick of a switch.

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